I want to be free from the considerations of my conditions, from the restrictions of my impairments. But I cannot rely on this, or wait for this, or even expect this. I know this. I remind myself again, to instead do the best I can do within these limitations, within these bounds. I have to … Continue reading The real ‘real’ work
I was talking to my younger sister today and made an off-handed remark about how I need to do some writing as I’m overdue for a new blog post, but I was feeling bored by myself and everything I usually write about, namely me and being sick. So Pam encouraged me to instead write a … Continue reading Expressions of honesty as an act of defiance
I made a few starts to this week’s blog post. And they haven’t gotten far. I started one about sorrow, shame and self-blame, another about anger in response to prying and insensitive questions, and another about the subtle exclusion of the chronically ill from so many facets of community life. But then I started to … Continue reading The need for validation, purpose and meaning.
I have recently been thinking about my identity, about who I am, and what I can do. About the labels I use to describe myself- and my concern about what labels other people might use to describe me. I am trying to reconnect with a self-acceptance and self-respect that has wavered over the past few years. It was easier before I was sick. I was working and my identity was closely tied to my role. I believed in what I did, and I was proud of it. I also danced, went hiking, ate out, was connected to friends and community. But since becoming unwell it has become harder, less clear, and I’ve struggled to feel the sense of pride that used to come easily to me. continued...